I think I was at least 30 or more before I realized that the national obsession with birthdays was NOT the case the world over. Here in America it is “normal” to celebrate birthdays, but how far back did that go? I’m sure I could research that, but my real feeling, as I contemplate the 38 birthdays in my family alone, is one of profound thankfulness.
It helps, of course, that March is a lighter month, and that I have already sent the AZ granddaughter her present — early, for a change! But even in January [7 b-days] and June [6 b-days], when I am scrambling to be ready for each event, I am delighting in the special attention that can be lavished on that particular child. It reminds me again of the attention that we can give each child in our family…. Why? Because we have them at home, and have ample time to craft and develop the memory-making rituals for our family.
Of course, it helps if you started when your children were young. Having a lighter school schedule contributes to that kind of thing. By the time you are in full swing with third and fourth grades ramping up, you know just what to do with birthdays.
By the way, you may have had a different experience, but I found that in some ways, my creativity was a little cramped by the social dynamics of a large family. Have you noticed that if one child gets something, that the others somehow expect they will get that too? I worked through that dynamic many times — and not just with birthdays….”But, HE got to sit in the front seat”….”Why does SHE always get the heel [of bread]”….etc.
Well, I finally decided to make the pattern all the same, and to work within that pattern creatively. So we always had candles on the table, and balloons. The birthday child got to choose his favorite meal for his dinner, and what kind of cake he wanted. We had nuts and candy for special treats on that day. There was some little variation, but that pattern did two things: It quieted the comparison-making, and it freed me to not have to think about it too much. And since those birthdays came about with alarming regularity, that was good. 😉
Notice the “cake” that was ordered. James is not fond of cake.
